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Kate Upton has graced the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue for the second year in a row, becoming America’s Greatest Hero since Neil Armstrong in the process. Like Admiral Byrd and Sir Edmund Hillary before her, Kate braved the barren, Antarctic wasteland and sub-zero temperatures to bring us tits. Enormous tits. Kate described her courageous, selfless journey to the frigid desert on the Today Show this morning:

“It was freezing. I’m from Florida, so it wasn’t great for me. When I came back I was losing hearing and eyesight because my body was shutting down, it was working so hard to keep warm. I was thinking warm thoughts…”

“The penguins kept me going, they’re adorable, and any time I was like, ‘I can’t take any more, I can’t,’ I would look at them and I was like, ‘OK, for them.’’’

Did you hear that? Put down that endangered…

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